illustration monday

this one is called Seafood and I have NO IDEA what it is alla bout. I'm just home on a monday having leffe blonde and playing around the computer.

101-clandestine - redux with redemption

the cutie kitty cat down under is the original post. it sucks so much I really think you deserve another one...

101 - ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY : CLANDESTINE BIS

Beware of the clandestine readhead hiding in the shadow.. ahahahhmmm




yeah I know, I'm ashamed I fell into the cuttie kitty category this week but it was the only positive idea I had. (I hate sordid realism)
cats. years ago this little red hair clandestine creature imposed herself into our home, she's stoopid, she pukes a lot and she falls from the furniture when she falls asleep. she was thrown out of the window of a flat at the back of our garden after one of her room mate came out of prison.
problem is we only have two pair of knees so arsouille the big black ball of meet and fur and iris the tiny single canine grey ball of softness don't see her with too much comprehension.
but everybody falls for a hot redhead with a lack of affection in the end.



and since it's THAT part of the year, happy new year everyone, may 2009 be made of honey and coco milk.

100-voices ONE HUNDRED CONSECUTIVE ILLUSTRATION FRIDAY

who would have thought. maybe I need a life.


is this a happy christmass or a sad illustration? you tell me, leave a comment.



and since this is the season... merry christmass everybody !

99 Rambunctious illustration friday

** RIP Bettie Page **

As you can easily imagine, I'm far from rambunctious myself. as much as I hate loud talkers, I have a morbid affection for the kind of girls who can enter a room and smash it into pieces like a ball of napalm by their only presence, even if the more formal assistance fail to see their beauty and the true sophistication of the rebellion they often try to bring out into the world.

rock 'n roll women kick ass !


thank you so much for all the lovely comment you people left lately, they go right to my heart.

98-similar - Illustration Friday

sometimes you get stuck on the wrong side of the mirror.
the snow only stopped to let an endless curtain of rain fall.

I want to move to california and become a famous nose art artist. can you help me ?



funny thing is this week I worked for both Indian Motorcycle and Harley-Davidson.
can you say carreer achievment award ?
someday I might even get paid for my work. who knows.

97 balloon

no it's not a photo.

robot says it's 4.30 in the morning.
I'd rather be playing with your nipples, in a car, on a parking.
my love.

maybe today I'll drive out of town and visit felicien

97 opinion (clic for a larger image)

I don't blame pierre. I know the feeling.

sometimes thing aren't what they seem and you have to think fast.
feel free to write your own text and post it here under.

OK OK, here's another one, wait...


got it ? onion+pi ... opinion (not my idea)

96 pretend

before he would leave his room, he had to choose who he would pretend he was that night, not sure the rest of the world would see anything else that what they only wanted to pretend to see in him.

game of the week: they are pictured in john water's movie Serial Mom as a band called camel toe, and they had a major hit (sort of) with a title about pretending, they are, they are...


never understood what this song was about. but a dead kennedies song would probably only make me laugh.

95 wise

Something about the w ise not being afraid to walk under the rain, I don't know,
some tale from an old zen method book. you find the saying yourself,
I have to run

94 vacant

shall we play NAME THAT MOVIE again? this one is so obvious...
I thought something halloweenesque would be appropriate.

untill last year I was revolted that we, northern catholic europe would sell our tradition to the american merchandising of halloween. actually halloween did not sell well this year. less and less every year.
now that I'm old and tired, I felt comfort from the candles and pumpkins on the neigboors doorstep. maybe because after a week at the job I feel like a zombie myself. maybe because tonight is the night to remember ghosts and lost relatives.

happy halloween. (I just wish all those anoying kids would dissapear)

illustration friday 93 - REPAIR

let's play NAME THAT MOVIE


yes I know I realise nobody never even try to play along but never mind, it feeds my superiority complex.
winner wins.. heeee... I don't know. what do you want ?

some help:
- the name of that movie is also the name of the album of one of my all time favorite band.
- It's not a walt disney production.

not much fun

i just realised nature needs more black in the background.

92 late

oh well, I just changed my mind.
you tell the story around this one, best story around wins a book in french. we ship worldwide.

.

IllustrationFriday 91: Strings

I need to learn how to draw lines with this thing and stop finding excuses to make a mess.


It's saterday morning now and we are having an open doors day. people should start visiting within a quarter. We invited all the people we know (some I haven't seen for the last 10 years) in the new house and prepared enough food to hold a siege for a week or more.
Being the social clown that I am, I already regret it and am entering now in a pernicious state of cold panic. You can't really get drunk at a 10am brunch can you?
arh.

no new music this week. tell me if you got some.

90 sugary - illustration friday

on nights like tonight I like to cure my abandonment neurosis by getting wasted.
in summer one of my favorite wasting way is big glass of cheap vodka, sugar cane sirup, half a mister freeze and some of the candy my girlfriend brings home from her work (she works with what might be considered abandonned kids and they sell candy to raise money for the institution), fresh and soft.
the sugar makes the alcohol pop in your brain like there is no tomorrow.
bad thing is there alway IS a tomorrow.


alternativly I miss the north african bakeries we had in our old cheap neigborhood, they sell honey filled bakkery to die for. you know it's wrong but you just can't help it.

Illustration friday 89 - packed

I made this one only to make you feel miserable.
and now I'm laughing at you.
AHA .

Illustration Friday 88: clique

on a day like today, at this time of the day, I'd be sitting on a table outside with my gang, the motorcycles randomly parked around the terrasse. Mr.P would be texting crazy because he acted like a monkey with a girl, Mr.G and Mrs S would be arguing over the kids or their ex, and sending textos all around. then I would make fun of Mr.T and his super sophisticated iphone with integrated bubble level and Ms.K would go "they're not nice with you my poor darling" and the girls would have a hot chocolate or a warm tea because the air is already cold as the sun started to set behind the hills.
then we would say "goodbye and thank you for the ride, ride home safe" to each other and ride like demons the last hundreds of miles home to the city.



except today is that day when we are not allowed to ride any motorised vehicle and the whole city has been taken hostage by thousands of byclicle nazis silently riding everywhere and savouring their all mighty revenge, speeding between terrorised pedestrains like unexpected meteors.

87 Island - Illustration Friday

I tried to install Painter Classic but it bugs with the wacom. it keeps painting on a 45° ofsett diagonal from where I put the pen, so back to toshop and its cheap effects. (sorry Connie)


*insert robot voice* "It's one thirtheen a-m"

low key lonely early morning boredom

86-clutter

Went to one of those flea markets yesterday, where people collect all that once made their lives and dispose it at your feet and you walk down a street and take a peek at all those scattered pieces of former lives that people want to get rid of.

I personally consider clutter a form of evolved horizontal storage, but the rest of the world seems to think I'm just lazy and disorganised.

anyway. went to see those 2 girls last night with my friend the shark, drank lots of beers, came home early in the morning. this song is called "Mister X", no relation. I swear.


and some lyrics for next week.
enjoy

memories - name that movie. losers !!

nobody gave the answer to last week's name that movie contest.
even worse, nobody give ANY proposition.

different possiblilities
- nobody cares to recieve my book even for free
- I did a very bad illustration and nobody could ever find the answer
- none of you ever saw "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", a movie where people have all their memories erased.
- you're a bunch of losers.

me, on the other hand, I am overexcited, I WON !
I won the photoshop contest on www.moto-station.com !!
whoohooo

85 memories

LET'S PLAY NAME THAT MOVIE



winner wins my last book. "La Station Indienne" in french. 128 pages black and white, value 15 euro, shipped worldwide.
no joke.

photoshop wacom no layers no undo, took the size of the images random as it opened. bored.


not related, hard to choose a music video without the speakers on.

84 - routine

routine, illustration friday #84



what else am I doing? using something that once seemed beautifull and making a living out of it. getting naked in the general indifference, providing fun and entertainment at the cost of my sanity then going home at the end of the day.
I'm nothing more than a gogo dancer executing her routine for a blasé audience and non impressed boss.

I have the great great privilege of making a living out of my artistic know how, but most of the time and especially those last month, the routine is really eating my brain, killing all the fun, castrating all creativity, I really need new challenges.

so no more 20/20cm. the new rules are
- no layers
- no ctrl-z (aka undo)
- no sketching
- every line stays on the final image
- minimal changes of brushes.

what do you think ?



the song is called "nancy boy"
listening to this song I realised there is ONE place in the world I visited with every each of my girlfriend (except one night stands and almost but not really girlfriends) and this place is ... nancy.
tells a lot about how faithfull I can be does it?
be reassured, I'm not depressed, I'm just slowly getting drunk.

*insert robot voice* (playing name that movie again)
it is 2.55 am.

83 detach

I have no idea. this just came out.
detach has so many different meanings in french (my mother language for all you non usual visitors

my life as a gearhead, part IX - having a hobby

I spent too much time on the UTMC forum, and too much time reading cafe racer magazine. this one is my dirtbag challenge project. cheap 1982 honda 400TB from ebay.
I'd do a cafe racer but we need some documentation about a scrambler for a graphic project so it will be a scrambler first, then maybe later I'll turn it into a clean cafe racer.
seems like a have an history of uglyness.


I'm just fascintated with buying an ugly bike with ugly large bars and ugly custom accessories, and cheaply turn it into something stylish and (what I believe to be) of good taste, like beauty is never that far from uglyness, like opposites co-exist and are adjoining, like you're such a monster it makes you beautifull or you are so beautifull it makes you horrible.
or maybe I just too much into motorcycles and drink too much.

82 sail

the f*c$ is this ? a bl**d$ duran duran cover ?!!

the subtle difference between good and bad

goood:


baaaaaaaaaaaad


in general, you might consider than
1/ lars von trier : good
2/ stephen king = bad

81 poof !

After several cases of severe oral infections, princess stacie decided maybe using a straw to inflate toads would be a good idea.
and poof! goes the toad.



yes, I know, this page was originally created to force me to use the wacom and the wacom only, but it's my 81rst continuous post for Illustration Friday and this is my holydays, and I decided to go back to watercolors.

IF #80 - canned - (slightly edited)

it's the first day of my holidays and I'm lazy.
and late. today I'm riding full east to germany and back.
tomorrow we're riding full west to france and to the sea. then drop our bags. at last.

in your car

Today is a beautifull day. meteo-wize anyway.
So I drove the car to work. don't ask.
It struck me to see all those guyz in big company car stuck up the butt of my ratmobile, the sun allowed to clearly see their faces in my mirror. well… their parody of faces.
Poor creatures. who do those people thing they are ?! each salaryman that finally passed me with his mummy's face put a smile on mine and I turned my head to see them pass.
One had the expression of steven seagall but the sun glasses of lolita. I swear.
They all stood oblique in their big airconditionned black company cars with their sunglasses like statues, like anything but a human being. "get out of my way, your blocking my heroïc run towards socio economical stereotypes and the achievment of my carreer as a persecutor."

Of course, they NEED to be stuck up the butt of another car like they had a priority pass, because, eh, I guess being the north european sales representative executive for the second larger aluminium ladder company probably gives you certain rights. or maybe they thinks they look like bruce willis.
Eh, DUDE, big news, bruce willis probably doesn't drive a leased volvo at 8 in the morning.
Or maybe they just need to hugh someone, in a very twisted mannish manner.


Then there is the ex prettiest girl of the office, who notices that you looked at her in the mirror, so she looks into hers, not sure hos to react. playing with her hairs to look sexy, just in case, but locking the doors, just in case.

I had a lot of fun. once. ok. I'll ride the bike for the rest of the week, then … ROADTRIP !!
Maybe my job doesn't stink so much in the end.

79 IF-enough

let's play NAME THAT MOVIE again :



Here's a hint;
I've had enough of dancehalls
I've had enough of pills
I've had enough of streetfights
I've seen my share of kills
I'm finished with the fashions
And acting like I'm tough
I'm bored with hate and passion
I've had enough of trying to love.

no googling allowed. winner takes me to dinner.
and here's the solution

78 foggy

CARL *FOGGY* FOGARTY
4 times winner of the superbike championship.

sorry I'm late. I was away for a few days.
road trip was fun. still youtube refuses to process most of my videos for some reason.


weather was excellent, cars were fantastics, food was horrible and french people still don't know how to use a toilet properly.
less alone how to clean it. smells of holliday will involve toilets stinks for some time. and gasoline.
On the other hand, a late evening dinner on a table outside at arnage with a couple of good friends is a feast for all senses. Classic cars constantly raoring around the streets, the food and drinks, the lights...

77 sour

after a long hot day on the road, I'll lick the sour taste of leather off your skin then we'll sleep, hungry but satisfied, the happyness of not being here anymore, and not being there yet either

tracy by mogwai

I don't feel like sharing.

76 - Fierce

I had half an hour, on a 2001 computer.
I did it. maybe I'll want to come back on this image later.

or not.
enjoy your week end


nothing really makes me go WOW lately in terms of music.
feel free to add your suggestions.

75 HOARD

of course, it's easier for me those weeks when I don't ahve to go and look into a english to french disctionnary what the topic is about, but at least it's not a cuddly cutty stereotype and thank you for that.

a couple of persons (and by couple I mean 2) seemed interested in my how-to videos so I made another one. the bad thing is I'm afraid making the videos forces me somehow to slow down and over-do the images so I lose a lot of the spontaneous quality that makes a good picture, hence i'm not so glad about this weeks illo, but it's a constructive experiment with layers, light and texture.

this and I got to draw a butt.
enjoy your solsctice week end. i usually make a long motorcycle ride on june 21rst with my gang and it usually ends in a late dinner after sunset, but the bike is out of my garage this week end for maintenance, alas.

My life as a gearhead, part VIII, hic et nunc

I took this job thinking "great, I'll soon be able to buy a bmw r1100s then I'll find another job more exciting" then they stopped making r1100s. so I kept the job a few years more. I actually had to put money aside for 3 years untill I had enough to consider buying a new bike. and by new, I mean zero km on the tach !
one morning the rex died. the chain just broke and there I stood, silly, on the side of the road. it was my birthday (really. I remember that day for all sorts of reasons) I asked a guy if I could use his cell phone, he let me, growning and moaning, and I asked the girlfriend if she could come and pick me up. "no she said, I'm waiting for the maid and then I'll have to go to work" so I walked home.
I then tested several bikes, I was watching towards bmw as I tend to use my bikes a lot. tested the r1200st (boring and ugly, I hated it) k1200r (expensive and ugly) r1150gs (expensive, high and ugly) f800s (fun but vibrating and a little weak) r1200r (nice but expensive, no top case and too much vibrations) zx12 (just for fun) and fatboy (just to say I did) vfr800 (bad seating, high end output) triumph 1050st (amazing engine, great gearbox, horrible seating position) ulysse (fun engine, horrible turning radius, too high, harley dealership) and still looking.
I also tested a honda cbf1000, nothing to say, you sit on the bike and you're home.
I wish they had the new triumph tiger out but it was only announced for several more month.
and the winner is.. honda cbf1000


don't tell me, I know. it's ugly and it's not even a roadster. they don't do them without the ugly fairing.
but, for half the price of a k1200r you have
1000cc 98 hp (cheap taxes)
abs
center stand
white signals
inox exhaust
(those are all options at bmw)
place for two adults
170 rear tyre (cheap and easy to balance)
2 year assistance
lots of torque and low end power
supposedly 245 km/h 0 to 100 km = 3.64 sec
the 242kg loaded weight figure could let you think it's heavy but it's so well balanced the weight dissapear once in movement. it makes city riding so much easier (especially after I had to use the eliminator for a couple of month)

for a few euro more, I added...
(ok it's my first brand new bike so I got a little carried away)
top box
bagster tank cover
rental handlebars
bellypan
115 db stebel horn
crash mushrooms
speedtrap indicator (legal)
a few black reflective stikers

i rode the think 18000 km the first year, went to numerous race tracks, rode through paris, the alps to italy, the 24h of le mans, the bol dor, german highways, a romantic week end at the sea and to work every day.

it could use a little more power but other than that and the ugly fairing, it's close to perfection even if it doesn't make people go woooaaa!
power to weight ratio : 1/2.46
but I'll stick my nose up your 180hp's exhaust anytime until you reach 180km/h.
call that a boring plastic japan crap I don't care as long as I can fill the tank and ride another 300 km to the next gas station. you stay in your garage and gaze at your own reflection in your expensive chrome monster

the end.

My life as a gearhead part VII - adult on 4

another winter, another car. I wanted something simple, solid, something that didn't have the "look at me I'm rich" kind of personnality my previous cars had (corolla exluded) something that wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg in taxes and gas. Something I could park in the xity I live. something... ugh!... a car...
so I ebayed a lot for a few month and found a 1992 mitsubishi colt 1.6.
the 1.6 would mean reasonnable taxes, the mitsubishi would mean easy to find parts, and it came as a surprise. the front seats were about as comfy as the buick's, the rear seats had more space than the monzta had, it burns around 10 liters per 100km in town were the buick would use more than 15. (yeah, I used to say 12 but it was more like 15L/100)
can't find the exatc spec, but it's about 920KG/113HP
that's a 1/8.14 power to weight ratio. MUCH more than the 2.8 buick or the 2.5 monzta

everytime I floor the pedal, the cheap chino-korean tyres skeek in agony.
I did not test it's top speed as it's higly unstable above 140 km/h
that isn't really an issue as my average is 30km/h in the city.
no air-co, no abs, no computer, a cassette player and a sunroof.

I covered the interior with fake muppet fur, painted the birght red in mat black with a poorly made betty page on the hood and a few pinstripped flames. the "Mr horsepower" stikers are the most expensive thing on that car.
there always is a slight moment of amazment when I get in an intersection, people just gaze in horror and shock, and I take the opportunitty to cross the intersection.
and if someone wants to play, blamoh, it's a regular sleeper with more than decent accellerations.

to my great great surprise (/dissapointment?) it just passed the technical inspection (I didn't even check the headlight adjustment, just deflated the tyre to cover the 15 years old suspensions), so I guess I'm stuck in the little black thing for another year.

74 - punchline - illustration friday

SHE DIDN'T LAUGH

very challenging topic.
not sketched at the wacom. I have a scanner now. mitsubishi uni ball pen and rotring.

two lane black top

to my great surprise, as i went to to the shop to find a gift for one of my goddaughters, I came out with the 2DVD box od TWO LANE BLACK TOP and spent the evening watching that really amazing movie again for a 60th time.
with every hair on my back erected.

I think that movie, with Vanishing point and Crazy larry Dirty mary kept me out of the european graphic novel circuit for the last 25 years; now that some of those movie are considered as cult and get the credit that they diserve (and that everybody working on them died) maybe it's time I get back to work and start communicate with publishers about my work again. eh... waht work.. ?! I've been working as a carpenter for the last 3 month.

friday illo if i get some time with the wacom

my life as a gear head part Vi - Nouveau riche II

after the buick got me to consider car as expensive, fragile and generally uninteresting, I began to think why not add a bike to my collection. aftera ll I had some room in the garage I rented.
so it's not really by accident that I spotted that 1985 kawasaki zl900 eliminator on ebay.
I always fancied those. if mad max road warrior had a bike it would be this one.
it made the V-max look like a grand mother's grocerys cart. there never was anything that mean looking on two wheels.

that is... not exactly THAT bike. it was disguised as a chopper with every bad taste accessories: 'live to ride" fake metal hand grips, california police windshield, chromed signals (both sides) leather bags and of course fringes everywhere.
Two tone paint : dog green vomit and yellow sick cat piss. given for original paint but with lots of bubbles under the tank, so probably a repaint.

I mounted a large dragbar, bar ends mirrors, tiny signals, and painted the whole thing flat black and on the raod again. this one was my sunday ride bike.


ugly eh ? :)

1985 kawasaki ZL900 Eliminator
inline 4, 105HP - 238 Kg
power to weight ratio 1/2.26

that's the fun part. it looks like a chopper, it has a shaft transmission, but it also has a low rpm oriented ninja engine. the most powerfull of all sportbike engine of that time .
raw power. I passed a lot of bikes on that, usually with one footpeg buried deep in the tarmac. ground clearance isn't that good.
scary, but draws a lot of attention. exhaust are empty off course, so ear plugs required.

it was only built from 1985 to 1987 and sold in the US so I'm proud and happy to have one with regular registration. it do need a new paint tho. and round tires
It's not registered anymore. It was my daily ride for a couple of month when the rex died on my birthday. it's been sitting in my garage for the last year and a half.

my life as a gearhead part V - Nouveau riche

I now had a steady job and a decent pay for the first time of my life.
I had been riding a lot, spent a few years without a car, left home in the morning on a dry road to reach the job in the snow, or noticing that the roundabout was covered with 1 inch of ice as I was already cornering.
Still riding the rex, i decided it was time I went back on 4 wheels for the winter. maybe THAT was it, my new big chance to buy some REALLY cool wheels.

I've always been a fan of full size US classics... satellite, LTD, polara, and most of all of muscle cars. Now I knew there was no way I could use or even buy a charger, challenger, barracuda, but I though a full size rear wheel drive could be affordable.
here in europe, there are several factors agains't US cars:
gas prices
taxes
size
import

the most perfect solution is a hearse. there is a long lasting tradition of american hearses. so most of the impala's you can find are ex hearses, because grave diggers do not pay taxes.
so the solution would be
- gas prices - LPG conversion
- taxes - register the ex hearse as a commercial break
- size - I used to be a truck driver. I won't use it much anyway.

but I could not find any real bargain and the winter was coming, so one night, in discouragment, I quicly decided for a more reasonnable 1989 Buick Regal. it looked like new the day I bought it.
ok, it was a V6 and not a V8, it was a front wheel drive and not a rear wheeldrive, and it was medium and not full, not classic in anyway.
so theorically, I should have bought it.


1989 buick regal
2,8 V6
power to weight ratio:
about 3400 Lbs / 140 SAE, you must be joking.
less than 1/12

eh. I souldn't have. it sucked. it was as old as the monzTa, but it was american and not german, so after a few month and a lot of new bits and pieces (brakes, shoks and every sort of pipe you can imagine), the furutistic (for 1989) pseudo digital dashboard was blinking about all the time, abs wouldn't work, windows wouldn't open or close, the stereo would be stuck on maximum volume, untill it began to start only when it would feel like starting, blame the oh so cool gear stick at the steering wheel. this and some shave monkey decided to invade iraq and the gas price doubled.

so after a year and a half (my average) I gave away the big sinkink boat on ebay.
no reserve, one buyer. cheap. i knew I wouldn't get any money back anyway.
end of the american dream.
back on full time two wheels.
time to save money for the next bike.

73 forgotten (back to illustration friday)

know that feeling ?
this is how you make me feel sometimes.