37 wrinkles

the conjonction of the moving into a new house and the boss going to canada to promote the new book about gilles villeneuve ? last night I dreamt about that girl I fell in love when I was 17, then I went to see her in montreal when I was 18 and she treated me like dirt (but in my dream it was funny because there were also some internet people I talked to but never met but they were like they are know). that was 20 years ago but in my dream she still looked like she was 17 and for a brief moment I felt the emotion of looking at her 17year old face filled with love and expectactions (that was before she treated me like dirt for you sickos)
when I woke up here and now I only felt a strange disorder of loss and... she must be 20 years older now. but the wrinkles on the face of the girl i've been living with for the last 13 years are the most touching path amongst all because they are part of my life and past and present an future. well... that is if everything goes according to plans. :/
if she could see me now my canadian love she'd probably think "hew, he's old and fat and bald and he's a loser" while every wrinkle on my beloved girlfriend's face is a secret i share with her. good or bad. life. a scar carved into your face. a story. a scar.

66 primitive

Primitive colors - CMYK - Cyan Magenta Yellow Black (K because black is not blue)
Primitive painters is the word we use for flemish painters
pale complexion ladies that solemnly look you into the eyes without a single spark of life, as to remind you that painting has nothing sacred but is just a tool to keep a memory of the loved one after they died, wich happened more often than nowadays.
you could write a book about the arnolfini's wedding.
several already were to describe how it invented the perspective as a window to the world, were the eye is the key element. an antropocentrist relation between the eye and the reality, the human as the center of the world, and of human as the center of art. no god. life and death. mostly death. cyan magenta yellow black. mostly black.

I defenetly let go the 20/20 square image to work in a wallpaper size, it forces me to be less narrative and more decorative. kind of shut up and make some art.
eh. time for a motogp DVD and a lasagna.


note the magenta screen on that one ...

65 fail

"-YES YOU MOVED
- NO I DIDN'T!!"
were the last words the famous Knife Sisters ever said to each others before they decided to put an end to the long lasting family tradition of knife throwing


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

this will sound as a surprise coming from some one so much enclined to self pity, but I have got so much going on lately, failure is not an option and I cannot even forsee the possibility. time will tell
so far so good said the man falling from the window.

64 save

while packing things before moving out of this house I found a letter that said "write back to me, I still love you so much" and even tho there was a name under I'm not sure who it was.
sometimes I just need to stop saving datas, not let feelings add on top of another. sometimes I wish I had saved my whole feelings on DAT and suddently the new system would refuse to read yesterday's tape.

I'm a rock I'm a machine I'm a robot. short time memory datas only.